Silence, everyone! The scientists have spoken. A five-decade-long study has finally reached the conclusion to the whole matter spanking is deleterious to the well-being of society. Researchers from the University of Texas at Austin and the University of Michigan have analyzed 75 studies, and they have 500,000 pages of data! The wizards that peep and mutter have spoken, but we go back to the law and to the testimony, finding that there is no light. Here is a good study of utilitarian ethics and modern science. We also point out that the wrong worldview looks for the wrong outputs AND the wrong inputs in these studies. We end up throwing the whole 50-year study in the wastebasket.